Andrew Considine

Mastering Resilience

April 17, 2015 by In Blog

What other people think of you is none of your business..
What you think of you IS!

Building resilience towards the external demands and emotional hooks of life will be an absolute ‘must’ if you are to realise your true potential, discover and achieve your goals in life… and to do so with far less effort and with far more fun!.

The more resilience we develop the more mentally tough and emotionally intelligent do we become.

Based on recent employee surveys in the workplace, the number one area that keeps surfacing for people is their desire to improve their ability to deal and cope better with the demands and stresses of life – inside and outside of the workplace.

The more resilient you are the more you achieve what you want. Consequently, you feel stronger, your thinking is clearer, you relate better and you shake off those shackles of guilt and shame for saying ‘No’ to someone or some demand, you set yourself ‘Free! The benefits are endless.

I have come across many causes or factors for stress in my life time, as I’m sure you have; but the one that stands high above them all in my experience is how much people care about…’What other people think of them!’

Have you ever said ‘Yes’ to someone when you really wanted to say ‘No’, just so you ‘wouldn’t upset THEM, let THEM down or fear being rejected in some way by THEM? I know I have… with hard lessons learned from doing so to my personal integrity and identity!

Outside of the occasions where we may need to say ‘yes’ to a necessary professional or personal situation, why do people say ‘Yes’ to someone or something when they truly want to say ‘No’?

Maybe it’s because they don’t want to ‘upset the other’, or ‘let them down’ or you don’t want to be ‘judged’ and viewed as being ‘disagreeable’, or, ‘rejected’ as the ‘party pooper’!!

Whatever the reason, it’s will always have to do with how we believe or experience we will be ‘judged’; and no one likes being judged.

Resilient people however, are people of great integrity. To build resilience demands character and that character is one of great integrity. Integrity is about ‘being true to self’, whether the world agrees with you or not, whether the kids like it or not, or the boss, or your life partner, family member…or whoever.

In truth, it’s actually ‘non of your business’ what other people think of you! It is not in your power or your responsibility to change the way they think or behave.

What is your business however, is what you think of you. If you think of yourself in anyway that is demeaning or negative, then know that you alone ultimately have the power to change that way of thinking as a feeling and not the other. Sure, you and I will need the right support and help along the way, but in the final analysis, You are the only one who is responsible for making that change.

Being resilient does not mean you need to distance yourself from others or become ‘tough’ inside etc. No, quite the opposite, resilient people are respectful, emotionally intelligent, loving, kind, positive, grateful and focused people. They know what is good and right for them and they know what isn’t!

To your inspired success

Here’s something you can do in the meantime that can help you in becoming more resilient…

Know that when you change the way you look at something, that which you look at changes! Ensure then, that you think of yourself with greater kindness, more love, self-respect and inner strength.The more you do, the more will you become what you think.

If you would like to know how I can help you or your business to develop greater resilience, feel free to make contact with me.